Shelf Awareness: Green Valley Library Book #4 Read online

“Nothing. It’s just it’s more of a Southern name, than a Pacific Northwest name.”

  “I would say it’s a religious name more than anything.”

  “That’s true. Just like Phoebe is. Are your parents religious?”

  “Nah, it’s more they’re spiritual than religious. My mom grew up a minister’s daughter, and somehow she brought my wayward father into the fold when they married.”

  I grinned at him. “Was your father a wild-child?”

  “No, he was just as nerdy as I am, but the fact he owned a fast car and smoked pot from time to time made him seem like the devil’s spawn to my grandparents.”

  “I can’t imagine what your grandparents would think of me—a divorced woman with a career who drinks and uses foul language.”

  With a wink, Zeke replied, “If they were still with us, they’d overlook your worldliness to see the beauty of your soul within.”

  Talk about sending a heart fluttering. “I’m sorry they’ve passed away.”

  “It was actually my grandfather who suggested the name. He thought after all the struggles my parents had been through to have a child, the meaning of Ezekiel—he will strengthen—fit the next stage of their life as parents.” Zeke smiled at me. “And I like to think after they’ve been married forty years, I might’ve helped somewhat in that factor.”

  “I’m sure you have.”

  “I can’t take full credit for it. My sisters helped as well.”

  “How many more besides Phoebe?”

  “Just my sister Shiloh.”

  “Besides the biblical factor, they beat both Friends and Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to the punch on being popular names.”

  Zeke laughed. “That’s true. Shiloh just started her first year traveling with Doctors Without Borders while Phoebe is a stay-at-home mom who helps with her wife’s farm co-op.”

  “Both are accomplished in different ways,” I noted.

  “They are.”

  “Is it okay to ask where they came from?”

  With a nod, Zeke replied, “Their birth mother was a second-generation immigrant from New Mexico. At first glance, one might think we’re all natural brother and sisters with our dark hair and eyes. Of course, they would look at our sandy-haired, blue-eyed parents and immediately know they were our adopted parents.”

  “Have they found their birth family like you have?”

  “Phoebe was interested when she got pregnant, but mainly just for genetic information. Before that neither of the girls were very interested.”

  “Yet here you are in another state, meeting your birth mother and tracking down your birth father.”

  “I guess you could say I’m starting the trend.”

  I laughed. “I suppose it’s something you have to have a serious desire to do. I mean, it’s a hell of an emotional commitment.”

  Zeke nodded. “It really is.” He jerked his chin at me. “I assume with the good relationship with Beatrice, you have the same with your parents.”

  “I do. They’re not far from here in Smyrna. My dad is an accountant, and my mom is a teacher. I have one older brother. Nothing too exciting.”

  “With a grandmother like Beatrice, I’m not sure anyone can say it isn’t exciting.”

  Snorting, I replied, “That’s true.”

  As if she sensed we were speaking about her, my phone went off with a familiar ring tone. Inwardly, I groaned because I couldn’t believe she had the audacity to call me when she knew where I was. Not to mention how mortifying it was to be getting a call from my grandmother like I was a teenager on my first date.

  “Do you need to get that?” Zeke asked.

  “No. It’s fine,” I replied as the call went to voicemail.

  Two seconds later, my phone began to ring again. “Maybe you should see who it is?” Zeke suggested.

  “Oh, I’m well-aware of who it is.”

  He gave me an odd look before finally throwing back his head with a bark of laughter. “Let me guess. Beatrice is already checking up on you.”

  Red-hot embarrassment warmed my cheeks. “Maybe.” Staring down at the screen, I gritted my teeth. “Normally, I wouldn’t take it, but she’ll just keep calling.”

  “Go ahead. I don’t mind.”

  After hitting the answer button, I brought the phone to my ear. “Hello?”

  “Finnie, I’m so sorry to interrupt your date, but I simply had to call.”

  “Yes, I’m sure it must be something earth shattering, correct?”

  “It is. Perry came by about thirty minutes after you left with a certified letter, which I signed for. Since it was marked from your attorney’s office, I simply couldn’t wait on you to come home to open it.”

  “That’s not surprising,” I muttered.

  “Anyway, it was your filed divorce papers. You’re free!”

  There it was. The moment I’d been waiting on for the last month—the moment I was officially divorced. Shifting in my seat, I tried shaking off the feeling of dread that washed over me. I wasn’t supposed to be feeling anything other than pure exhilaration. Grant’s and my marriage had been absolved. I was no longer Mrs. Grant Granger. Not to mention the fact I was out with a very good-looking and sweet man.

  But I still wasn’t rejoicing. What the hell was wrong with me?

  After swallowing hard, I replied, “Okay, well, thanks for calling me.”

  “You’re welcome. Tomorrow we’re going to start sending out the invitations to your divorce party.”

  “Wait, what?”

  “Your divorce party.”

  “Yes, that’s what I thought you said.”

  “The girls and I have been planning this for weeks.”

  “You’re throwing me a—” With Zeke sitting right next to me, I couldn’t seem to bring myself to say the word divorce. “You’re throwing me a party?”

  “Yes. It’ll be a great excuse to get everyone in town together to formally introduce you.”

  “I’ve been in Green Valley almost six weeks.”

  “Think of it like a debutant coming out party.”

  “I’m thirty years old, GramBea.”

  She tsked at me. “It doesn’t matter. You’ll have a great time, just you wait and see.”

  “Right. We’ll talk about this later.”

  “Of course. Now you can move on and feel free tonight on your date with Zeke.”

  Once again, I couldn’t say what I wanted with Zeke sitting next to me. I would have argued once again that we were not on a date while inwardly wishing we were. “Well, goodbye.”

  After I hung up, Zeke glanced over at me. “Everything okay?”

  Nodding, I shoved my phone back into my purse. “She couldn’t wait a couple of hours to let me know a certified letter had come with copies of my official divorce papers.”

  Shit. Had I actually just said that aloud? Slowly, I turned in my seat to survey Zeke’s expression. Relief washed over me when he appeared genuinely concerned and not horrified that I’d dared to speak of my divorce.

  “You’re officially a divorced woman, huh?”

  “Yep. I am.”

  “I believe congratulations are in order.”

  “Thanks,” I murmured half-heartedly.

  “It doesn’t sound like you’re in the mood to celebrate.”

  I threw my hands up dramatically. “No. I am. Drinks on me when we get to the party.”

  “Since you sound less than thrilled, I would imagine you aren’t feeling what you expected you would when you got the news.”

  I blinked at him in surprise. How was he able to see me so clearly? “Yeah, you’re right,” I replied honestly.

  “You’re probably experiencing a lot of emotions,” Zeke remarked.

  “Pretty much.” As I stared at him, I wrinkled my nose. “I’m sorry. This has to be extremely weird for you.”

  Zeke grinned. “Considering we’re in costume on our way to a cosplay party, I think we passed weird a long time ago.”

  I laughed. “
You’re probably right.”

  Cutting his eyes off the road, Zeke gave me an earnest look. “In all seriousness, Finley, I’m here to listen.”

  From his expression and the tone of his voice, I knew he wasn’t just shooting me a line. He really wanted me to get my feelings out. “Honestly, I’m not sure how I feel.” And that was the truth.

  “That seems understandable. You guys were married for a while, right?”

  “Almost seven years. We dated for two years before that.” I shook my head. “Grant’s been a part of my life for so long, it’s hard imagining life without him.

  “Since it’s intrusive of me to ask, don’t feel like you have to answer my next question.”

  “You’re wondering what happened to cause the divorce?”

  Zeke nodded. “I’ve heard after many years together people can grow apart, but it seems like there’s more.” With a sympathetic look, he added, “More hurt and more pain.”

  “Yeah, you’re right about that. I wish it had been something as easy as finding out we weren’t the same people anymore. But it wasn’t.” I drew in a ragged breath. “Alienation of Affection is the official filing. It’s a G-rated way of saying my husband was having an affair.”

  “The bastard,” Zeke mumbled under his breath.

  Although it was far from a light moment, I couldn’t help laughing. “Yes, I called him that many times.”

  “Was she someone you knew?”

  “Yeah, actually, he was.”

  Zeke jerked his gaze off the road to stare open-mouthed at me. “He?”

  “Yep. After all our years together, my ex came out.”

  “Shit that sucks. Phoebe had that happen to her once. A girl she’d been dating a long time told her she really was not only bi, but she was in love with a man.”

  “Ouch, I literally feel her pain,” I mused.

  “I would imagine so. I can’t imagine how hard it was—or it is.”

  “I appreciate that. I mean, it is easier now. It’s more like a different type of pain now.”

  “Because you’re officially divorced?”

  “Yes, but it’s more like in some ways Grant leaving me for another man was easier than if it was another woman. I mean, it’s not that he found someone younger, prettier, or thinner—although Xavier is totally ripped.” I gave Zeke a rueful smile. “He was my personal trainer.”

  “Holy hell,” he muttered.

  “Yeah, that’s pretty much what I thought too.”

  “Your husband left you for your personal trainer?” Zeke shook his head. “I’m surprised you’re not in jail for killing them.”

  “Oh, trust me, I debated it.”

  Zeke laughed. “I don’t blame you.” After side-eyeing me, he added, “I can’t imagine why you felt the need for a personal trainer.”

  “That’s because this”—I motioned to my body—“is after a thirty-pound weight loss, which I have to attribute to Xavier’s help.”

  “Did you lose the weight for yourself or for Grant?”

  I winced a bit at the unintended harshness of his question. It wasn’t the first time I’d been asked that since the divorce. It was an honest assumption for everyone who wasn’t privy to our fertility struggles. Of course, there was no way in hell I was about to go into that with Zeke.

  At my hesitation, Zeke shook his head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that.”

  “No. It’s okay. I would have to say I did it for him as much as I did it for me, if that makes any sense.”

  “I get what you mean.”

  “Have you ever done anything extreme for an ex?”

  “Is eating sheep placenta extreme enough?”

  Snorting, I replied, “Please tell me you didn’t.”

  “I sure as shit did.” He turned to me and grinned. “Of course, it turns out I wasn’t supposed to eat it. Apparently, it was some sort of beauty mask that was supposed to go on my face.”

  “Oh no,” I murmured before covering my mouth to hide my laughter.

  “Oh yes. That was pretty much my breaking point in the relationship.”

  “I don’t blame you. That’s hideous.”

  “For the most part so was my ex,” Zeke mused.

  “I can honestly say so was Grant. Over the last two months, I’ve come to find the hardest part wasn’t that Grant was cheating or he fell out of love with me.” I sucked in a harsh breath. “It was the realization I was almost unrecognizable emotionally when I was with him.”

  Turning to me with furrowed brows, Zeke asked, “In what ways?”

  “Until I left and came here, I didn’t realize how much he had changed me. Over the years, I had allowed him to manipulate me in so many different ways. The way I acted toward my family, the way I reacted to things in my life.” Shaking my head, I replied, “Even though he was never emotionally or physically abusive, I still found myself walking on eggshells around him.”

  Zeke let out a low whistle. “That’s bullshit.”

  “I know, right? Once I realized how different I’d been acting, the hurt of him leaving wasn’t as bad. In some ways, it was a blessing.”

  “I can’t imagine how hard it was coming to that self-awareness.”

  Once again, Zeke was able to see straight through to me. “It was agony. I always thought I was a strong woman who could never ever let a man change her. But there I was—Grant’s adoring groupie.” With a shudder, I added, “I might as well have been a fucking lapdog.”

  “I know it probably doesn’t help, but what you did was out of love. And like the good bard once said, ‘Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.’”

  Slowly, my head swiveled to stare at Zeke. “Did you just quote Shakespeare?” I questioned breathlessly.

  He flashed me a cocky grin. “Why yes, I did.”

  Holy hell. A good-looking, successful man was quoting Shakespeare. That was it. I could die happy because my life was now complete. Could there possibly be a limit to this man’s attractiveness? Sure, the fact he was dressed as Luke Skywalker while quoting England’s most-legendary writer was somewhat off-putting, but at the same time, he had totally gotten me wet with that one.

  “Your quoting ability is quite impressive,” I finally replied.

  Wagging his brows at me, Zeke replied, “You’ll find I’m not just a pretty face.”

  With a laugh, I replied, “No. You’re much more than that.”

  “You know, one might think it was insulting how shocked you seem.”

  “I am surprised, but I promise it has nothing to do with you personally. It’s more that any man outside of a university can quote Shakespeare.”

  “My mom was an English major, so I grew up on the classics. During some of those weekend campouts, she would break out a crumbling book and read to us by lantern light.”

  “Now that’s camping I could appreciate.”

  “We’ll have to try it sometime.”

  His suggestion and tone made it hard for me to breathe. In my mind spending time alone in the woods leant itself to something far deeper than just friends. Was he insinuating there might be more growing between us? Of course, I had to rationalize that for Zeke, he was probably used to piling up with a bunch of “buddies” out in the Rockies.

  When I found my voice again, I replied, “As long as we’re close to some bathrooms and you remember the bug repellant. We grow ’em big out here in Tennessee.”

  With a snort, Zeke replied, “Yes, I’m starting to think the state bird should be a mosquito, rather than a mockingbird.”

  At the mention of mockingbirds, we launched into another literary discussion, but this time it was about Harper Lee. Thankfully, we moved on from any talk about Grant and the divorce. We were interrupted by the monotone voice of the MapQuest directions. “You’re reaching your destination on the right.”

  I couldn’t believe how fast the drive had gone by. I guess the old adage was true about time flying when you’re having a
good time. As I peered out the window, I couldn’t hide my surprise, “The party is at a Marriott?”

  “What’s shocking about that?”

  “I don’t know. I guess I didn’t imagine it somewhere so nice.”

  Zeke chuckled. “Did you imagine something like the hospitality room at the Holiday Inn?”

  Damn he was good at knowing just what I was thinking. “Maybe.”

  “Oh, my little grasshopper, you have so much to learn.”

  I grinned. “I am ready, sensei.”

  He returned my grin. “How is it you and I always seem to be on the same wavelength?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, are you?”

  “I think it’s a good thing,” I replied.

  “Me too.”

  As Zeke turned his attention to pulling the car into a spot, I knew there was something I needed to say. “Look, I just want to say it means a lot you let me talk myself down from the ledge.”

  Zeke gave me a genuine grin. “Any time.”

  “I hope you don’t have plans next Friday night.”

  Rubbing his chin, Zeke appeared to be lost in thought. “I think I might be free.”

  “Good because you’re formally invited to my divorce party.”

  “I thought you would never ask,” he teasingly replied.

  With a roll of my eyes, I said, “Trust me, I’d hoped to never have to.”

  “We’ll have a good time.”

  “Somehow I don’t doubt that,” I replied with a smile.

  He jerked his thumb at the building. “Speaking of a good time, are you ready to get your cosplay on?”

  “Totally ready.”

  “Nice try, but I can read the false enthusiasm.”

  Laughing, I replied, “How about I’m as ready as I’ll ever be?”

  “Better,” he answered as he opened his door.

  As Zeke came around the car to open my door, I flipped the mirror down to inspect my reflection. I also took a few deep breaths to give me the strength to face the unknown. When Zeke opened the door, he smiled at me. “You look amazing.”

  My heart fluttered as I closed the mirror. “Thanks.”

  Rising from my seat, I hoped and prayed to make it through the evening without doing anything to embarrass Zeke or myself. When we got inside the hotel, we followed the colorfully attired crowd to the conference center area. After Zeke registered us and paid a couple cover charge, it was time to face the music both literally and figuratively. As if he could sense my growing anxiety, Zeke reached for my hand. I tried to not make it anything more than him trying to soothe my nerves. At the same time, I liked the way my hand felt in his.