Shelf Awareness: Green Valley Library Book #4 Read online

  “Right. Well, I’ll see you at work.”

  “See you later. Hope the crystals help.”

  I furrowed my brows at him. “Crystals?”

  Motioning to my hand, he asked, “Those are crystals in the box, right?”

  Kill. Me. Now. Was this real life? Like, what could I have possibly done to deserve this level of karmic retribution? Anything I could have possible done should have been evened out with Grant’s cheating, not to mention the date from hell with Marcus. Slowly, I nodded my head. “Yep. They’re totally crystals.”

  Zeke grinned. “I never would have pegged for you trying something new age.”

  I swallowed hard. “Me neither.”

  With my free hand, I gave a pathetic little wave before powering out the side door. As soon as I got to my car, I shoved the alleged crystals into my purse before tossing my purse as far as I could into the backseat. I wanted nothing more to do with the mortifying item for the rest of the evening.

  Chapter Ten

  Later that night when I was getting ready for bed, I thought about my conversation with Estelle. Since I never was one to bail on homework of any kind, I decided it was now or never to start working on the ol’ vag. After checking to make sure I’d locked my door and slid a chair in front of it, I went over to the nightstand and dug my vibrator out of the back.

  I tossed it on the bed before shimmying out of my panties and pajama shorts. Glancing down, I said, “All right, let’s get you back into shape.”

  Wanting to cut out any potential incriminating noise, I flipped on the TV. Of course, it came on to the Hallmark channel with an episode of Little House on the Prairie. “Sorry Ma and Pa. My behavior is about to scandalize Walnut Grove.”

  After sliding under the covers, I reached for the vibrator. Even with the television on, it felt like the sound was echoing so loudly in the room that the neighbors next door would look out their window to see if there was a swarm of locusts coming. “Focus, Finley,” I muttered to myself.

  I spread my thighs before bringing the humming stick straight home to my clit. I sucked in my breath at the sudden jolt of feeling. Damn, it had been a long time. If I was honest with myself, it had been an exceptionally long time since Grant had even remotely given me a jolt like that.

  “Fuck,” I muttered, not from pleasure but at the mention of Grant. Seeing him in my mind made my building buzz fade. There was no way I was going to come if I couldn’t get past my memories of Grant. Not even my skilled rabbit could pull that one off.

  Pinching my eyes shut, I decided to turn my mind off and let my body go with the vibrations. Even though my nipples hardened and my hips arched involuntarily, it wasn’t the total abandon I was looking for. It was like my body was reacting naturally—you introduce a stimulant and you’ll be stimulated.

  Just as I was about to give up and turn off the vibrator, a scenario began to take form in my mind. With my back to the history room door, I was restocking books. I was so lost in my job I didn’t hear anyone come in. “Can I help you?” I called over my shoulder.

  “Yes. You can,” Zeke’s husky voice replied.

  Slowly, I turned around to find him outfitted in nothing but a pair of tan breeches like the ones you might see Jamie Fraser wearing on Outlander. Since this was fantasy, I didn’t stop to question what Zeke would be doing shirtless and wearing historical breeches in the library. Instead, I enjoyed the hell out of the view before me. The wetness flooding between my legs was evidence of just how fucking good he was looking in those breeches. Of course, the bulging outline of his huge dick didn’t hurt either.

  Zeke crossed the room to stand before me. “I can’t fight this anymore.”

  “What?” I asked innocently as I licked my lips in anticipation.

  “How hard you make my cock. How much I want to fuck you.”

  I was panting both in and out of the fantasy. “Then take me,” I murmured.

  With a growl that reverberated straight to my center, Zeke ripped my blouse open, baring my breasts. In real life, I would’ve been wearing a bra, but for the sake of fantasy, I was naked under my shirt. At the feel of his callused hands on my breasts, my nipples peaked. When Zeke dipped his head to suck one of my nipples into his mouth, the vibrator slipped deep inside me, causing me to groan with pleasure.

  As he alternated sucking, kneading, and licking my breasts, I scissored my thighs together, desperate for friction. Sensing my distress, one of Zeke’s hands came between my legs, cupping my pussy. His magical fingers began to sinfully stroke my center as I began to build to an orgasm.

  At the sound of a toilet flushing across the hall, Zeke dropped his hands. “What, don’t stop!” I protested. Blinking, I realized the toilet was at the house, not the library, and someone was outside the door. Biting down on my lip, I waited a few agonizing seconds before picking up the fantasy again.

  Zeke dropped to his knees before me. After dipping his head under my skirt, he licked up my seam, causing me to shudder. I gripped the shelves as my hips rocked against his mouth. He sucked my clit into his mouth, causing me to scream. Just when I was about to go over the edge, he pulled his mouth away.

  “I want you to come around my dick.”

  “Yes. Please.”

  Grabbing me by the waist, he dragged me over to one of the tables before pushing me down over the top. I gripped the table’s edges as he shoved my skirt up my thighs and over my hips. After tearing my thong off, he nudged my legs apart. I bit down on my lip when the head of his cock nudged my entrance. When he thrust to the hilt inside me, I cried out. His fingers wound through the strands of my hair. With each thrust, he pulled my hair. The power of both Zeke’s dick and my vibrator sent me over the edge. Clawing the sheet with my free hand, I shrieked and moaned with the epic force of my orgasm.

  As I started coming back to myself, I groaned. This time it wasn’t from pleasure but from mortification. I had just gotten off to a fantasy of Zeke. How could I ever look at him again without thinking of him pounding me over one of the history room tables?

  After turning off the vibrator, I flipped off the covers and headed to the bathroom to clean up. At least my soaked, sore vagina was proof I still had it. I could still have a mind-blowing orgasm from desiring a man. Sure, the fact I worked with him wasn’t ideal, but when was life perfect?

  Once I’d cleaned up and gotten back into bed, I turned off the TV and got ready to fall asleep. But the more I tried to sleep, the more I saw Zeke’s naked body in front of me, the feel of his mouth on my breasts, and his fingers inside me.

  With a grunt of frustration, I turned the TV back on before initiating round two. By the time I finally rolled over in a satiated heap at midnight, I’d come three times and had had imaginary sex with Zeke in the library, a meadow, and in the lake. It was a very good night.

  Chapter Eleven

  Thirty-one. That was the number of days that had passed since I’d received Grant’s text that he had officially filed for divorce. In Georgia, the magic number was anywhere between thirty-one and sixty days for an uncontested divorce to be final. Although the girls encouraged me to “take him to the cleaners,” I just wasn’t interested. It wasn’t who I had been. Besides, who knew how long it would take if I contested. The only thing I wanted less than Grant’s money was to be tied to him for one day longer than I had to be.

  Now that I had officially arrived at day thirty-one, I could start anticipating a call from the attorney to come back to Atlanta to sign the papers. Then I would officially be divorced. While I’d already started working on me with my new job, I wouldn’t truly feel free until I’d signed on the dotted line. Until that day, I would continue making baby steps toward my new future.

  One way I was moving forward was by putting myself in therapy. It came as no surprise to me that I had to drive out of Green Valley to go to Maryville to find a licensed counselor. I’d only seen her twice, but I’d really liked her so far. She was helping me understand how it wasn’t insane to experie
nce the seven stages of grief all in one day. I suppose I had them all but bargaining. I certainly wasn’t trying to bargain with Grant to save our marriage. Most of all, I struggled with accepting all the red flags that were so glaringly in front of my face, yet I failed to see.

  On this particular day, I was walking down the sidewalk toward the library. I’d taken to walking the mile to and from to get my daily exercise. Part of my divorce PTSD included being unable to step foot into a gym. Just the smell of the machinery made me think of Xavier, which in turn made me think of Grant. Since the girls insisted on continuing to try to feed my emotions, I had to do some physical activity, or I would end up gaining the thirty pounds I had lost.

  Considering how fast I was walking, I was certainly getting in my cardio this morning. After staying up late reading through some of the donated books and documents from the Henderson’s donation, I’d hit the snooze button far too many times. When I’d finally managed to drag myself from the bed, I hadn’t had time for a shower.

  Breezing into the library, I found one of the assistant librarians, Sabrina, at the circulation desk along with Naomi. “Good morning,” I huffed slightly from my previous exertions.

  “Good morning,” Sabrina and Naomi echoed.

  After heading past them, I went to put my lunch in the mini-fridge in Naomi’s office. When I returned, Sabrina and Naomi were discussing something about the computers.

  “Just put the issues in the log so Zeke can take care of them later,” Naomi instructed.

  I froze as I rounded the circulation desk. “Zeke’s coming in this afternoon?” When Naomi nodded, I quickly added, “But he wasn’t on the schedule.” What I really wanted to say was, “I allowed myself to look like ass because I didn’t think I was going to see him today!”

  “He called and said his plans in Cherokee were canceled.”

  Shitty, shit, shit! “Oh, well, good for me. I mean, good for the history room documents.” Jeez, I sounded like an idiot. Eyeing my open purse, my gaze zeroed in on my makeup bag. From the time I was a young girl, GramBea had instilled in me the importance of always bringing along your makeup. “You never know when you might need to put a face on.” In this case, I was extremely grateful for her advice. “Excuse me for a minute.”

  As Naomi nodded, I shoved my purse under my armpit and hightailed it to the staff bathroom. When I found it locked, I inwardly cursed before heading across the library to the public restrooms. Standing before the mirror, I shuddered slightly. Man, I really did look like ass. A difficult choice lay before me. Did I go balls to the wall with the makeover so Zeke didn’t see me looking less than perfect, or did I try for a more natural look so Naomi and Sabrina wouldn’t think I was trying to impress Zeke?

  It was quite the conundrum.

  A few seconds of mental warring passed before I bobbed my head. “Natural it is.”

  “Excuse me?” a voice said from one of the stalls.

  As I fought not to crawl in a hole and die, I replied, “Uh, sorry. I was, er, talking to myself.”

  “No problem.”

  Since I didn’t want the person to put a face with the psycho woman talking to herself in the library’s bathroom, I quickly slipped into a free stall. As the toilet flushed next to me, I began rifling through my makeup bag.

  And that’s when I saw them. The Ben Wa balls Estelle had given me earlier in the week that Zeke had thought were crystals. While I had done Estelle’s homework by breaking out my vibrator, I had yet to use the balls. The package had been rolling around in my purse for the last few days. Hmm, maybe I should give them a chance at work when I knew I would be on my feet more. Of course, that might be problematic since I didn’t carry around lube in my makeup bag. A quick read on the back of the packaging told me that water or spit could be used. Spit? Ew. I would go with water.

  When I heard the bathroom door close, I peeked my head out of the stall to see if I was alone. Finding the place empty, I stepped out to run one of the balls under the water. I figured I’d start with just one to be on the safe side. Once it was adequately hydrated, I headed back into the stall.

  I’ll spare you the details that went into fitting it into place. Once it was where it was supposed to go, I tilted my head and focused on the feeling. It wasn’t an uncomfortable fullness. I could definitely feel it doing its job, so to speak. I took a few steps around the stall. Thankfully, it didn’t set my nether regions on fire with desire. Because of that, I felt it was safe to keep it in at work. Considering how I felt around Zeke, I didn’t need anything to amp me up further.

  With my pelvic floor being adequately worked out, I moved on to my physical appearance by heading out of the stall to put on some makeup. Keeping it natural, I just put on a little powder with some eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick. As GramBea always said, it was vitally important to “paint your lips” since it gave you color.

  After turning left and right in the mirror, I nodded my head in satisfaction. I packed my purse back up and headed out of the bathroom. For the next couple hours, I put Zeke out of my mind and worked on entering the book catalogue for the history room.

  I was so into my work I didn’t hear Zeke enter the room. “Afternoon,” his deep voice rumbled.

  Turning in my chair, I smiled. “Afternoon to you as well.”

  Zeke squinted his eyes at the screen. “The catalogue is coming along well.”

  “Thanks. Of course, I’m sure I’m being overly anal when it comes to the wordage.” Oh God, did I really just say the word anal in front of him? Even though it was a completely different context, it sent my mind to a place it shouldn’t have. Especially with the Ben Wa ball working my out-of-shape pelvic floor muscles.

  “There’s nothing wrong with being a perfectionist.”

  “I think that’s the nice way of saying it.”

  Zeke laughed before easing down into the chair beside me. “I thought I would finish up the 1800s census reports.”

  Nodding, I clicked my mouse to save my work. “Give me one second, and the computer is all yours.”

  “I’ll be glad when the other computers get in.”

  “Me too.”

  As Zeke worked on uploading the census records, I hoisted one of the many boxes from the Henderson’s donation onto the table. It kicked up an epic dust cloud. I reached inside to pluck out one of the moldering tomes of historical literature. Wrinkling my nose, I fought the urge to sneeze. Instead, I cleared my throat. When it still felt like I had swallowed a wad of sawdust, I coughed. And that was my grievous mistake.

  The force of the cough dislodged the Ben Wa ball, sending it into an epic downward dive. Yes, ladies and gentlemen the Ben Wa ball had left the building. Whirling away from Zeke, I used my hand to try an inconspicuous crotch shuffle to send the ball back to its point of origin. What happened next was truly against the laws of motion. Because the universe apparently hated me, the ball escaped the confines of my thong. As it started its descent down my thigh, I squeaked and clamped my knees together.

  “Are you all right?” Zeke asked behind me.

  I threw a glance at him over my shoulder. “Uh, yeah, I . . .” Okay, I had no idea how I was going to get out of this one. It wasn’t like I could say, “Well, here’s the thing. The Ben Wa ball I was using to strengthen my pelvic floor muscles to keep my vagina healthy for the D just slipped out and is about to make a very unhappy trail down my leg.”

  “I think a bug bit me or something.”

  “Oh no. Want me to take a look?”

  “No!” When Zeke’s eyes widened at my outburst, I said, “Sorry. I’m okay.”

  “If you’re sure.”

  “Totally.”

  “I think I might’ve found something interesting for your research.”

  The only thing I was interested in at the moment was getting the Ben Wa ball out of my pants without Zeke seeing it. “Oh?”

  “I definitely see some Native American female names.”

  Damn him for being enthusiastic about my
research. The last thing I wanted to do was walk the couple of steps back over to him while trying to keep a Ben Wa ball from rolling down my pants leg. Since I couldn’t see any other way out of it, I nodded. Gritting my teeth, I started shuffling over to him.

  When I started lurching like Frankenstein’s monster, Zeke tilted his head curiously at me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Yep. Totally fine,” I muttered.

  Just as I reached his chair, my knee shifted because of what I imagined was panic sweat overtaking me. As the ball became dislodged, I bit down on my lip to keep from squealing again. There was no saving the ball now or my humiliation for that matter.

  As soon as it plopped onto my shoe, I flung my foot, sending it ricocheting into the desk. Of course, it’s size caused it to make a tremendous ching-ching noise, which in turn caused Zeke to rip his attention away from the screen. “What was that?”

  “What was what?” I questioned innocently.

  He furrowed his brows at me. “You didn’t hear that noise?”

  “Uh, no.” Plastering a smile on my face, I said, “I’m sorry. I was just so into what you were saying.”

  Ignoring my response, Zeke quickly assessed the area around us. After I’d flung the ball away, it had come to a rest to the right of his desk chair. When he bent over to examine the ball, I inwardly began screaming noooooo while at the same time cursing Estelle for even bringing the Ben Wa ball into my orbit.

  Since the universe hadn’t tortured me quite enough yet, Zeke picked up the ball. “Interesting,” he murmured as he twisted it between his fingers.

  I decided it was best to play absolutely and completely clueless in this situation. “What is it?” Silently, I prayed he wouldn’t respond with, “It looks like one of those sex balls you shove up your cooch.”